Nine Things I Must Do More Often

1. Juggle
2. Stretch
3. Practice Handstands
4. Blog
5. Post Youtube Videos
6. Write Songs
7. Sing
8. See Friends
9. Sleep

Over and Out.

It's Meant To Be

Despite the fact that I am an extremely laid back and relaxed individual, there are some things I can't help but worry about. My usual attitude is that if it's meant to be, it will happen. Most things can, of course, be pushed and shoved about until they do, so I'm very much aware this isn't a fool-proof life-guide, but I like it anyway!

I firmly believe I want to do something related to the circus. This was going brilliantly until I heard that there was no guarantee you'd get a space on the class above the one I'm on. I could potentially have nowhere to train next term, the thought of which made me stressed to no end!At times like this I usually sit there and say 'if it's meant to be, something will work out' and I'll shrug because generally it's not all that important to me. But this is.

The reason I panicked was that when I'd been looking for circus classes previously I couldn't find anywhere that did all the things I wanted to do. True, I had searched over a year ago, but that wasn't the point. As far as I was concerned if I didn't get a place next term I was screwed.

And then I googled it. The first hit was an extra a gym was running which had started in the past year. It has rope. It has tumbling. It's meant to be.

Over and out.

Busy.

I haven't written a post in ages, so I thought I'd grace you all with my wonderful way with words once again!

I have found myself inexplicably busy this past month. I've managed to make a decision which will completely change my life, as well as upload a second youtube video, develop the core strength to do a hocks sit up on trapeze and fail quite spectacularly at NaNoWriMo this month. And by fail spectacularly, I mean I lasted two days.

I've been utterly swamped with work and spend my office hours juggling nozzles, matlab and corrosion chambers with maths I thankfully already know how to do and a management course that starts tomorrow. I spend every evening either out with friends or at circus class and I've started to approach every single weekend the same way I thought about summer when I was at school. Except then the weekend comes and it lasts for two days, not two months. And then I'm in the office at 7:30 the next morning.

So that, ladies and gents, is why I've been neglecting this blog. Don't get me wrong- I like to be busy. But I need to find time to just breath. And ideally next time that won't be at 10:40pm on a work night!

Over and out.

An Issue

I want to buy a hat. Now you might think that's a pretty simple task but you'd be wrong. Because I have a massive head.

I did a fair bit of research because there's a very specific style of hat I want to buy. I even managed to find a couple of options that didn't cost more then a week's wages, but they were quickly ruled out. Because they didn't have said hat in 2XL.

My head is size 2XL. In a man's hat shop.

What is my life?

Over and out.

Trapeze Was Not The Solution

I am partway through reading One Day at the moment and there was a line in it that really struck a chord with me. I was sitting on the tube on the way back from handstand class thinking about how I'd picked up handstands so much faster then I had trapeze. I'd been a bit annoyed at myself because of this as flying trapeze was something I'd visualised myself being really good at. (There was literally no reasoning behind this at all, I just decided it one day...!) Anyway, I read this line in the book:

At her very, very lowest ebb she had taken a course in Circus Skills until it transpired that she had none. Trapeze was not the solution.

I saw this and smiled. Because, having had a horrible week on trapeze and a very successful evening of handstands, I realised that no; trapeze was not the solution. It's ok that I suck at trapeze, because I'm good at other things.

And then on Wednesday I had my trapeze class. And I didn't suck. I didn't miss a single trick, and it felt great. I looked like some kind of flailing amphibian when I tucked under the bar, but I did it. And now, despite only yesterday being genuinely convinced that it was just not my thing, I am now completely happy with the following:

Trapeze is the solution.

Over and out.

A Sort-Of-Mid-Life Crisis

I'm having a sort-of-mid-life crisis again. And I say again because these happen every time I get too settled. I sort everything through and then I go for it. And then I'm doing it and it's not quite what I want it to be.

The problem is that every time I do this, I end up with a plan that's just a little bit more out of the box then the one I've just put into action. It's usually just a streach further then most people would normally reach, but it is just a streach so it's still socially acceptable. Or at least it was.

I've found myself at a crossroads in this sort-of-mid-life crisis. I've streached about as far as I can from the norm without people noticing too much. This time if I want to take a step closer to where I might want to end up, people are going to notice. And I doubt they'll like it.

So this time I don't know what I'm going to do. But I'm going to do something, because I'm feeling far too settled at the moment!

Over and out.

Circus

My arms hurt when I raise them above shoulder height. My abs and back ache when the tube slows to a stop. My calves feel like they're on the verge of cramping every time I stand up.

But I couldn't care less.

They hurt from circus training and, despite the fact that reaching for the remote is painful, I really really love it. In all my 18 years I have never worked so hard that doing a single sit up has become completely impossible, and I'm pretty sure if that happened in any other situation I would lie on the floor waiting for the end to come and complaining about it rather loudly. But when I'm training I continue to try, I moan slightly, and I grin like a cheshire cat. 

Because I really really love it.

Over and out.

People Are Good

I lost my drivers licence when I was out a couple of weeks ago. I'd emailed the place I spent the evening and they replied saying they hadn't found it. I assumed it was hopelessly lost and was going to sit down this evening and order a replacement. But then I opened my post.

A genuinely lovely stranger had found my photocard and sent it to me. They left an anonymous note attached to the back of it saying they'd been the same place as me that night and had picked it up off the floor so they could get it back to me. This person has never met me, and expects no form of thanks. It just makes me so happy that people like this exist.

So a short message of thanks to the person who sent me my ID:

Thank you, stranger. You have literally made my day. When I opened the envelope I could hardly believe my eyes! You have reminded me that people are good. I'm not always good, but I try to be, and now, when I have the opportunity, I'll remember the grin opening the envelope put on my face and I'll be good too.

Ren.

Over and out.

Life Is Good

I haven't posted in a while, so I'm sorry about that. I haven't really even been on the internet that much. Why is that? Because life is good.

That's not really an excuse, I know. It's just that I didn't want to write post after post about how so many little things are making me really happy. Instead here I am, writing one.

Life is good because I have a job, and I find it interesting and it's not so tiring that it's all I do.

Life is good because I can visit my friends at uni, no matter where they are in the country.

Life is good because I have friends with me in London and I know some are staying for the whole year.

Life is good because my scales are improving and I like practicing the trombone.

Life is good because my brothers are happy.

Life is good because I might get to see a friend I haven't seen in three years in February.

Life is good because I'm actually learning songs on the ukulele.

Life is good because my first circus class is on Tuesday.

Life is good because I'm meeting new people.

Life is good because, although some of my friends live on the opposite side of the world, I'll probably see them next summer.

Life is good because I'm exploring the place I live in.

Life is good because I don't have the finer details sorted, I'm just going to let them happen.

Life is good because I'm happy.

Most importantly, life is good because that's how I want it to be. It's not perfect, but it's good. And a lot of little bits of good is all you need.

Over and out.

Thank You, Summer

This summer has been one of the busiest of my life. And I've kind of loved it. It's been an overflow of past, present and future, new things and old, meeting people and reconnecting. It's been a bit insane!

When I left school in July, I hadn't really grown up. I felt like a school leaver. The week I spent on holiday with no parents showed independence, but no more then I'd had before. I was still a girl who'd just left school who didn't really know much about what life was going to throw at her. And then I left for Europe. I met 50 people from all across the world and had my first experience of life. When I came back I wasn't a school leaver anymore, I was a gap year student with a full time job. I still had no idea what life was going to throw at me, but at least I knew it was going to throw something.

And then I went to Ireland. I was pulled right back from from my newfound adulthood and shown the place I spent so much time in when I was a child. Just as I settled into those memories I found myself in Italy with family, where I grew up some more. The week I spent in Wales has almost completed the transition. With family, friends, a job and a plan, I'm ready for the world. I know it will throw something at me, but the summer has shown that there'll be something to help me catch it. This year won't be plain sailing, but it's the start of the rest of my life and I'm ready to make the most of it.

Over and out.

Disclaimer: This ended up being considerably more dramatic then intended. Apologies for deviating slightly from the (less dramatic) truth!

A Little Update

Hello everyone! I've been MIA for a while now (again) but am now back temporarily (again)! This is just a quick update so you know what I've been up to and why I've abandoned the internet.

As my last post says, I spent a week visiting places from my childhood in Ireland. I wrote it while there, but didn't get good enough internet to post it. I decided to post it now, because it made me happy when I read it just now. I'm back in England at the moment, where I will remain until Friday before I head off to Wales to update my CPR certification!

Some of you may have noticed that the video I said I'd edited has yet to make an appearance on my channel. This is because I'm a bit of a chicken and don't want to make it public yet! I think I'll wait until  September to upload it, though this will look a bit odd as it's about results day and that's tomorrow. On another note, I'm fairly sure I'm going to epically fail everything I took, so that's good...

Anyway I hope you're all well and enjoying summer! England has decided that summer is over, and it's raining right now. I love my country.

Over and out.

Why I Love Ireland

I have been in Ireland now for a grand total of three days. And I'd forgotten how much I love it.

As a child, my holidays were split between home in England and my extended family over here. I grew up claiming I was Irish, and I certainly was (well half of me was!). Through my teen years, the isle of shamrocks became a less frequent place for me to visit, though I still made it over to Dublin every now and again, but sadly not down to the house near Limerick. I hadn't been to either of these places for a good three years now, so it's brilliant to be back.

I've realised that I've missed things I barely even noticed. I've especially missed hearing the accent. I've missed it so much that I'm now determined to live here for a least three months at some point so I never forget how to pick it up. I've also missed going home and having my friends tell me how Irish I sound because I start using all these expressions I remember from when I was younger. It's great to rediscover these connections to my roots and hopefully, now I'm older, I won't forget them so easily.

My family is staying with my aunt in the house near Limerick- the same house my mum and her two sisters spent every holiday at growing up. The same house I spent many holidays at growing up. I haven't been here since I was nine or ten and remember very little but, despite this, I've realised there are so many things that have changed. The horse I used to feed apples to has moved on. The old metal furniture on the gravel has disappeared. The little shed my giant doll used to live in has been demolished (though Lily herself is very much alive and well!). The changes are huge but the place is the same. 

It's been a brilliant reminder of youth just as I prepare to enter the adult world. And it's something I should remember.

Over and out.

I'm Still Here, I Swear!

Hello everyone! Incase you were wondering, I have not yet disappeared from the face of the internet. I merely took a reasonable sized break from it as I did exciting things such as explore a little of Europe by coach (hands down the best holiday ever) and walk across England for charity! I am now home and reunited with my laptop, my footage and my blogs, and shall be making a temporary return to the land of the web. Although it is very temporary- I leave again on Thursday.

In the meantime, I have managed to edit a fairly dull first video for my youtube channel which, provided imovie doesn't crash, might even be up tonight! I can't make any promises though as right now my computer sounds like it's training to become a space shuttle and might take off at any given second. But hey, at least he's chasing his dreams!

So that's me for the night! I'm unreasonably tired, though that is generally what comes from walking 135km in 5 days. I guess I'll see you tomorrow.

Over and out!

I Am Forgetful

I have been fully meaning to update my internet life, but have yet to get round to it. I got so desperate that I even uploaded my last drafted blog, so welcome to me rambling!

In truth, I have been very busy. I've been up and down the country non-stop since I got back from Portugal which has all been very exciting. But I've also had no spare time. At all. I now have until 6:30 this evening free, as well as a little bit of tomorrow. 'What a perfect time to do all things internet' I hear you call! And I would completely agree. If I hadn't left my laptop at home.

Unsurprisingly, my laptop has just about everything I need when I'm trying to blog or vlog or do other internet related things. And, again unsurprisingly, I can't do those things without it! I have two whole vlogs filmed and ready to edit! But I can't edit them because they're just chilling on my laptop a nice two hour drive away...

'Oh, oh Ren! I have a brilliant idea! Why don't you catch up on those diary blogs you started?' Because, dear reader, I even managed to leave my diary behind. I am such a special child.

This has basically been an update telling you all how useless I am at organising my life, but at least now you know why I've been abandoning the internet. I will be reunited with Zach (my laptop) on Thursday, so adieu till then!

LifeScouts

Some of you may have heard of this, some of you may not. Either way, I think it’s brilliant. Alex Day has come up with this idea where people get to reblog badges for doing things. As they do, they share their story. It’s a massive collection of people’s life experiences, and I think it’s awesome.

I have always enjoyed trying anything. I am the friend who suggests spontaneously taking a train to a random place and just seeing what’s there, or the girl who thinks bungee jumping is the best idea ever. To be quite frank, most people won’t care that I spontaneously turned up in Abergavenny for the day and went to the zoo, but lifescouts does. In that one imaginary trip I could have got both the zoo badge and the (non-existent) train badge. And people would care! It’s a place where people want to know about all these weird things I’ve done.

It’s also great for people who don’t normally go out and do things because there’s the incentive of gaining another badge if they do. Alex himself said he booked a skydive so he could get the parachuting badge. It brings out the best in people. It makes us want to try stuff, just so we can say we have.

There’s even a pin badge store for those who want non-internet versions of their badges. They’re absolutely stunning enamel pins and, if I weren’t a poor student, I would have all 63 of the badges I’ve earned on a sash on my wall. That’s the only thing I’d like to see that hasn’t appeared- I’d love a massive sash and the option to get fabric badges so I can sew them on like I did when I was younger. Maybe one day!

So anyway, if you haven’t heard of Lifescouts, check it out. I’ll leave a link below. If you want to see how I’m doing (or just follow my tumblr!) I’ll leave a link for that too. My stories are mostly coherent, though some are much shorter then others! I also haven’t had time to reblog some of the things I’ve done more recently so there aren’t quite 63 up there yet.

If you have been reblogging these yourself then please tell me- I’d love to hear some of your stories.

Over and out!

Lifescouts: http://lifescouts.com

Tumblr: http://farranarabella.tumblr.com

Vlogs

Now I’m not sure if anyone actually reads this blog religiously but, incase there is someone out there who does, I should probably explain why I haven’t posted anything in a while.

Here come the usual excuses: I’ve got a lot of work, exams, sport, music- the list goes on (and is also surprisingly valid!). But they’re not really good excuses because I’ve still been writing. The problem is I’ve been writing vlogs.

I’ve been going through a phase of writing down my ideas for blogs exactly how I’d say them were I talking to another person. The issue is that I find blogging is  different to conversational speech, and there was no way my ramblings would ever coalesce into a coherent blog post! It is for this reason that I have left them as potential vlog scripts.

Oh, and that’s another thing- I don’t even make videos.

How I’ve started writing scripts for a non-existent youtube channel I have no idea. I just know that they’re a load of fun to write and, probably, a load of fun to film. Do I need another form of internet procrastination? No way! Will I do it anyway? Damn straight!

If you are content with my sporadic blogs, please do stay and read my ramblings. Though if you want to make sure I’m not dead between posts, my channel is here: http://www.youtube.com/user/ThatRetroEnglishGirl

There may or may not be videos on it in the near future.

Over and out!

PS: Having said all that, there are a couple of blogs I know I want to write too so I should be posting here more often then I portrayed! Also I’m off to Portugal tomorrow and my friend has recently informed me that the place we’re staying has no wifi, so I guess it’s goodbye for a week!

On Tall Girls and Heels

Despite the fact that my blog name is based around my immensely great height, I rarely write about it in post form. It comes up a lot more in real life and while most things are amusing, there is one thing that annoys me. That’s people saying that tall girls shouldn’t wear heels.

I understand that there are some people who don’t want to stand out from a crowd, so being tall is bad enough on its own without the added four to six inches from a pair of shoes! Though if you’re ok with being a bit leggier then most of your friends, I say wearing heels is awesome.

The chief problem circulating is the apparent rumour that guys don’t like it. This is just crazy. If they don’t want to go out with a girl who’s taller than them, you probably shouldn’t go out with them anyway. Even when you take those heels off, you’re not going to be more then a couple of inches shorter and I’ve found that inbuilt insecurity in guys pretty hard to shake off! I’ve found it’s a great way to get some guys off the ‘potential partner’ list, which is obviously an added plus!

My main point pro tall girls and heels is, quite simply, that they look good. Our legs look pretty endless anyway but with heels, they’re suddenly one of the best looking pairs of legs in the room! Get your posture right, hold your head high and don’t mind the people watching. If you can walk in them and you’re happy with your height, heels are an asset to every girl.

Over and out!

PS: I swear the blog about how I decorated my cupboard is coming at some point in the future!

Exam Stress

It has recently occurred to me that if I want a job that requires a set of sixth form exams (which I’m not entirely sure I do), then these next few weeks are probably the most important of my life so far. Which is scary.

I won’t lie- these past few weeks have been the most productive of my entire life. I have literally never done so much work, and don’t plan to ever again! Though I’ve also done so much more of everything else. I now have the beginnings of a body fit for summer from exercising, I can rollerskate without falling flat on my face, and my guitar playing has progressed in leaps and bounds! Though none of that is going to help me pass my exams.

Despite this, I don’t think my dedication to things other then revision is bad. While many of my friends are about to collapse from exam pressure, when I feel like I’m going to be crushed under a mountain of maths equations I pull out some juggling clubs. I put energy into things that take my mind wholly off work and exams and allow me to concentrate on something else. My hobbies are escapes, and I think that’s something more people would benefit from discovering.

I’m not trying to say that people should just stop revising and take up the ukulele, because revision is pretty vital for anyone who’s been offered a conditional university place! I just think it’s important to have a thing or two that can help you forget about it, even if it’s just for an hour a day.

Over and out.

Birthday Resolution

I am completely aware that this is not a remotely normal thing to do, but I’ve decided to start a birthday resolution. It’s like a New Year’s resolution, but it starts on my birthday, which is conveniently placed smack bang in the middle of the year.

My birthday resolution is to be less lazy. This may seem odd, but believe me I need it! It’s got to the stage where my excuse for everything is ‘I’m lazy.’

Will I change to go out later? No, I’m lazy.

Will I put make up on? No, I’m lazy.

Will I go to the gym? No, I’m lazy.

Will I do some juggling? No, I’m lazy.

Will I go upstairs to grab a jumper? No, I’m lazy.

This has got to stop! And, from the sixth of June, it will. I will not be lazy, and I will do things when I want to, where I want to. I shall not be hindered by my laziness any longer!

I think this is a great idea for me, and I hope it actually works out. It’d be even better if it would start working out now, because I’m too lazy to revise for my exams which is likely to be problematic in the near future...

Over and out.